When connections of hearts grow stronger at times the knots break and at that time people try hard to erase the connection itself. Most of the time it is only one side that erases the other side lives a life of the undead through dreadful times of suffering emotions that at times manifest into physical pains. However, pain, suffering, and faded dreams will not erase love. Love will take a life in itself and remain undead.
On Another Note: I once wrote, “When failures outnumber success” when that became a reality recently in every context. But from 1999 after I wrote those words in a poem, many failures in the years passed taught me to survive failures. It also taught me to take responsibility for my actions and ignore or discard the stupidity of others. You may be wondering what the hell I am talking about…. you will know soon.
The idea of this poem popped up in my head after I heard about a wedding and I wrote the first four lines in late springtime. I left the idea in my mind to evolve and step by step I came to finish this poem without cursing anyone including myself. This is about someone making some bad decisions in their life in choosing their life partner. She decided to cover all her feelings with worldly dreams than follow the truth of her heart.
On Another Note: Life goes through cycles and the best part of it all is the unpredictability of what cycle is coming at you. I have always analyzed events and looked into the past to see how things will unfold with new faces and new places. This time, everything is new and that tells me there are faces and places I should leave behind and move on. After all, how much life remains is yet another unknown, I may even live for another 150 years… who knows. For the time being, I am just relaxing watching some fantastic Turkish Dramas, and selling Vapes and Smokes.
I watched this entire series. I started watching this series because I have seen the actors in it in other series. Devrim Ozkan is an amazing actress whom I have seen in the series Vetanim Sensin as Hawa. The very first time she was shown was among a crowd and I said, “The lady got a star appeal” and she sure is a star. Kadir Dogulu is the lead actor whom I have seen in Kosem Sultan. This series has some mystical touch with the game Satranc-i Urefa. This series is worth watching for anyone as it speaks a lot about life events. Great acting, a fantastic plot, and wonderful bits of advice about life in general. This site has a lot of popups so having a good popup blocker will help a lot and of course, the subtitles are in English. In the coming days I will give more Dramas I watched all through summer.
A very simple poem that I wrote looking at the images of a lady who like I said in the poem .. through her simplistic beauty and charm gave me a feeling of unwavering attachment. This poem was an expression of what I felt.
On Another Note: Sometimes it takes time for a dream to come after someone I dreamt off dies in the heart. Well, it didn’t take much time and effort. This girl is younger than the previous one and not a betraying type. So happiness comes for the good of us.
I have a friend who is a cancer patient. She is undergoing all kinda treatments for the disease. She is not in remission and her family and friends are in constant prayers for her. She recently wrote a post in which she talked about this gong people ring when they leave the facility once they have remission. And how much she wishes to ring that gong. The idea for this poem came from her post.
On Another Note: I recently had a health scare… when that happens everyone will think about all the things that can go wrong. Luckily with over 279lbs and a big belly, I am fine, all vitals look good. In the end, I needed a little more blood that’s all. Time flies by fast and we will no longer be able to fly all the time. When that’s not possible even with the help of a walking stick we keep going. That’s who we are.
In the world of romance, men suffer most when a relationship breaks down. Especially these days women just use men as stepping stones breaking their hearts and walk away. I have met many men like that and they all have one thing in common. They never cry like many women who get their hearts broken do. But the truth is men do suffer. This poem came out from those thoughts.
On Another Note: Oh’, boy, yeah, I said that many times. Sometimes the paths one may take can go longer than one can imagine. But you know what I am not eager to live my whole life in 1 day, or a week, or a month or even a year. I recently prayed… “Oh’, Allah, give me 120 more years so that I can be all that makes you satisfied with me.”. I hope I will get it. In 2005 I had a serious crush on a girl and I admit it… I liked a much younger girl at that time. Her paths were not great so I warned her… you are on your way to becoming a prostitute. Now you all know how that relationship ended. Recently I saw her almost topless in a picture she posted as a promotion for her music or show or whatever. I regretfully said… “I told you so”. In 2016 I met another girl I thought is a wonderful soul. She turned out to be a betraying one. The problem with these kinda girls is, that they won’t stop with one betrayal, they will repeat it. The poor guy who married her, maybe he is an asshole who deserves her. Who knows… maybe after some years after seeing or hearing something about them I will say “I told you so”.
I say that to people who believe in Easter. There is always that question that comes from people when they hear that I studied in a Catholic School, I was born and raised in a place filled with Christians. I moved to America where Christianity is the majority religion. Why do I still follow Islam? I never said I don’t believe in the Isa Alayhissallam the Son Of Mary. I have gone through many works of literature, watched 100s of videos, and documentaries, and heard debates… There is that belief in me that said… Jesus never existed in the way Christians believe. If I sit down and spent a considerable amount of time I will be able to bring out the documents and information about this. However, I watched a documentary that says exactly what I’ve known for many decades. Watch these documentaries in full before throwing curse words at me.
Ceasar’s Messiah
Pagan Christ
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IMado9ukLt0
Understand this… there is information that is still out there that may lead us to the real man whom we in Islam call Isa (Alayihissalaam(May Allah Bless Him)) son of Mary. Or it may be hidden for divine reasons which I don’t know. The truth is between darkness and light. What is hailed as a religion is a mirage.
I still say Happy Easter… away from all the religious acts, this day is still a celebration. It doesn’t matter, of what. Happy Easter to you all.
I met a very young girl online. She told me to write a poem about my impression of her. That’s where this started. However, I went in an entirely different direction after she told me about a real-life event of her which is in the poem. So read it well and enjoy.
On Another Note: Making changes is easy when you are single. So I am still enjoying the single life. I am not going to talk more about the changes. You will see. Little Boss, I am not a cursing man anymore or my curses would have burnt you to ashes. I will never bless you, I will never forgive you. I will never forget you.
The first installment of the poem Mahidevran – Legend Of A Beauty. I only touched water here with this one. But this will tell you what is to come. I am going to go far and wide in every possible way to bring this person who lived nearly 500 years ago.
This Poem And The Poems To Come Are All Dedicated To Mahidevran Hatun. The Mother of Shehzade Mustafa.
On Another Note: Whew.. what a life? My life is an amazing piece of information I myself love to speak about. You have no idea what I have gone through. Disgraced, imprisoned, belittled, sidelined, abandoned, betrayed, aaaah, fate tried all up his sleeves to break me. My faith in Allah protects me and I will not wither my faith so nothing can break me. Little Boss, don’t step outside of the realm of my forgiveness.
How does one feel when all life is spent on one thought, and seen only one face in everything wonderful and heard only what needs to be heard and all united stands and kaboom all gone when love no longer is yours? Yup, that’s the thought that triggered this poem. The very last line was taken from one of my older poems called “Reading Poems” as is. Enjoy.
On Another Note: The greatest achievement of life is when one attains a level of freedom from everything and then yearns to bind it all together with love, for love, and by love. It is not easy, but it will happen once in a lifetime and one better be ready at ease to deal with it. Every human has the right to dream and work to fulfill those dreams that’s the fundamental freedom. It is a lifelong event and I am at the beginning of it.
Little Boss, I recently watched the episodes of T.V series in Turkish called Çalıkuşu (means Lovebird spoken as Jalikusu) it is a romantic show about an orphan girl. I have seen the actor who acted in it from another show and this show has better subtitles. In a nutshell, Lovebird and her cousin (Muslims are allowed to marry cousins) are in love from a very younger age they go through many hardships to keep loving and get married. There is a point at which Lovebird declines to say yes to the proposal due to some serious family politics. Right after that the guy, a doctor goes through a spiral of weird acts, He goes and waits near her school dorm, goes and beats up a man who employes her as a private tutor for his daughter, slashes the tires of her bike, etc. Seeing all these I said.. “daang I am a very decent man, I never even went to any of the chain stores my Little Boss worked for months until I was very sure in which store she works, to avoid any confrontation that will make her feel uneasy. I never even mentioned her name in my writings. I was still called a stalker (LMAO)”… in the show, Lovebird still agrees to marry him. Maybe the doctor got six pack abs and value in the society. hehehe, I laid back and sat and said again, “I will never bother her with my love as the flames of my love I will pray to keep eternally.” I took a sigh and continued… “Little Boss is not Lovebird she is my Lady Mac” I laughed and said again “Lady Mac sounds better than Little Boss”.
On Another Note: I fasted for a month during Ramadan.. I added 4.5lbs. Then after than in 3 weeks, I lost 16lbs. Very laughable isn’t it? Well, that’s how the whole life is going on. Figure out the rest.
Little Boss, a long time back a Sufi Dervish (Sufism is a mystic form of Islam, and people who follow Sufism are called Dervish) he was going on a journey pretty much in the cause of God. Unfortunately, this Dervish fell in a big well and it will be a big struggle to get out of there. The Dervish said, “Oh, God, I took this journey in your cause and I fell, now you take me out of here as I am not going to try to get out of here at all”. He sat in the dry well and days passed, then it became weeks. After more than forty days, a creature the Dervish have never seen or heard about came around the well and lifted him out, he thought, “Oh, this is probably my end” to his surprise, the creature didn’t hurt him, it left him beside the well and ran away. I think you got my point.
